Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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