im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I wear drunk well.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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