I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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