He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Be still, my beating vagina.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
