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You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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