dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
