i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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