Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This baby is an asshole
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
