Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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