I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
