i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
