I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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