Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
