Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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