apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
