so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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