Duck Duck Cougar?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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