i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
