Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
