I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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