Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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