I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
