i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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