I got chris browned last night
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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