doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
