No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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