i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
