I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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