he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
