To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
