I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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