i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
