i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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