i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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