STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
