I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
