I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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