clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
