I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
