Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
