So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
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he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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