its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize