i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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