honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
