It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well you can't waste a boner
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
