I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
