Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
