Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
