I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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