There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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