my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
