Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
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He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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