I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
