This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
