He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
operation have a gay friend backfired
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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