Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
