once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
