what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize