no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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