Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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