I am in a vortex of obligation.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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