wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
please don't ironically join a cult
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