To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
