there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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