i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
